a thousand layers

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It hit me in this sudden, dizzying motion – while attempting to stay tightly wrapped in a thousand layers of indestructible distance – that I have been sitting in this room with you for longer than I remember. It’s striking how the eyes you followed for years, when in front of you after a long break, can be so utterly blinding.

“I’m learning how to be alone” I said, I think, maybe not in that order of words, maybe not as polished and as to the point, but something along those lines.

xx

SWEATER by Nylon Shop

Photos by Sam Doyle

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Motel X Chicago

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A day around Chicago with my best friend.

xx

TWO PIECE SET by Motel
WHITE SHIRT DRESS by Motel
BLACK PLAYSUIT by Motel
LEOPARD COAT by Motel

BAGS by Paul’s Boutique
SUNGLASSES by Incognito
BROWN PLATFORMS by Fashion Union
WHITE LONG JACKET by Missguided

Indoor location: Dana Hotel & Spa

All photos by Kohl Murdock

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lifted.

worn out - fashion blog

worn out blogstyle blog - worn outstyle blog - fashion blogstyle blog - worn outyou left for a long time today. lifted yourself out of your miserable constant, i suppose. i called to say goodbye. not because i care about you. but because i want you to care about me. a ‘courtesy call’, right? like when those telemarketers call in the middle of your dragging work day to pretend like they give a shit about your needs.

our phone conversation drifts in and out like waves. much like the presence of your emotional state. barely reaching shore. coming and going at your leisure. but i’m forgiving, i suppose. i’ll lift the heaviness in your chest because as i’ve told you many times before, the heaviness in your chest is transferable energy. because behind all your “yes” “great” “i’ll call” “i’ll email” talk i can feel the buzzing of an underlying statement: “someone come and lift me out of here”. but no one can hear your buzzing over the filler words. they can just feel it. they can identify with it. they can, regardless of your strong efforts in blocking off your leaking emotions, forgive. but i’m only forgiving because i’ve needed to be forgiven.

x

PANTS by Motel Rocks
DENIM MOTO VEST by 15 FIFTEEN (via Urban Outfitters)

Photos by Sam Doyle

Listening to: Sierra Lift
by Blue Hawaii

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build fires.

winter fashion - bitching and junk food

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soon it will be cold enough to build fires. and that’s a challenge we’re willing to take. the tree branches surrounding our cabin have the strength to hold the heavy, cold snow without giving in, and on this cold day i’d like to remind you that we’re no less capable. so open your front door and face the earth as it lies ahead of you. it’s an easy game to stay trapped inside our cozy bubble of wishful thinking, but i assure you the pain is worth the play- that our strength coupled with our willingness to feel the cold before the heat is exactly the kind of mindset that brought our coexistence together.

so drink sun water and let it alleviate you. build fires with the help of other warm hands. soon it will be cold enough to build fires and we’re more prepared than we’ve ever been.

x

FUR COAT by Bitching and Junk Food

Photos by I Hate Blonde

Listening to: Soon it will be cold enough to build fires
By Emancipator

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creature of playing.

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you’re a creature of playing, a creature of dreams.

x

NECKLACE by BooHoo
TARTAN PANTS by Motel Rocks

Photos by Cachet

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elevated.

shooka

worn out blogandrogynous fashionthe worn outmotel rocksthe worn outand as one last piece of advice, she said, don’t hold down the sun. and i understood it as something like this:

your brittle skin deserves to absorb the sun’s light. your veins, uninspired, crave its radiating heat. your lungs expand to the rhythm of its cycle. rising, collapsing, but breathing- a new perspective is born.

your thoughts, elevated, reach for the sun above.

x

TOP by Motel Rocks
MAXI SKIRT by Motel Rocks
BLAZER by H&M

Photos by Sam Doyle

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segments of my vision.

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we are bigger than this body, bigger than our world. we dream in dimensions we’ve never experienced. we trust the chaos, believe in the rush. we hold our hearts accountable, and feeling has never felt so good.

because you are a dream- pigmented from segments of my vision and assembled, sorted, filtered and set in motion into my reality. an out of this world, bigger than our soul, endless maze- i’m happy to be lost here with you.

x

SLEEVELESS DRESS (CIRCLE) by Endless Maze
SLEEVELESS DRESS (TRIANGLE) by Endless Maze

Guest Model: Kayleigh Waterman
Photos by Sam Doyle

 

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latch.

unif - androgynous fashionunif clothing

androgynous fashion tightsmotel rocks fashion blogger unif - motel rocks

“you don’t let people like that go” she said.

and i listened. with permission from my stubborn taurean ears. it’s hard not to. when i get distracted by the arch of your brows. matching the arch of your lower back. my fingertips tracing along your spine. proceeding, cautious. i am paralyzed. clench, release. a beautiful sacrifice. your presence meets mine. collided, magnetized. mesmerized by your taurean eyes. latching on to you, as advised.

x

WE HIGH 5 SHIRT by Unif
TIGHTS by Motel Rocks

Photos by Mario Pantoja

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