against gravity

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your eyelids push against gravity and slowly begin to open, letting in the vision you wish you could change about the world. you rise from bed and make your way towards the closed back porch, following the speckle of light dancing on the ladder to the roof. you climb up the ladder, secure one foot on the roof then the other. fully arose, a breeze of fresh air overcomes the stale dungeon of your lungs. you turn around to face the city in front of you. the rushing winds howl at you, as if you owe them something. you take in a single breath, filling your lungs with another chance at making things happen. you exhale, letting out everything that never worked out and never will. against gravity, you let go.


JACKET by Jac Vanek
SHOES by Jeffrey Campbell

photos by I HATE BLONDE


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blind, dreaming


you said the blind are dreamers and that’s exactly what kept us from dreaming. we saw too much and we felt too much to take any of it in. i promised, when we sat there with our legs crossed and our fates parallel, that i’d be there when your days feel like a long, poorly lit hallway. but i didn’t promise to be a crutch at your leisure. it’s true that the mayhem is what got me onto you to begin with, but it was exactly that – the mayhem i misunderstood as unique – that kept me floating above just far enough above the ground with my heart laying against its will, in its mold. i surrendered to my place.

you said the blind can dream too so now you’re just blindly dreaming.


BLACK JUMPSUIT by Mustard Seed
DAMSEL SPIKE SHOE by Jeffrey Campbell

Photos by Calvin Bellas

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i always feel like i’m running out of time–that the dimensions of the world are inching closer, closing in, trapping in my slow-moving limbs–and i cure this illusion by attempting to think otherwise, begging for logic, waiting for release. but then it always comes down to this:

i am, quite literally, running out of time.


TANK BY Sweet Claire Clothing

photos by Calvin Bellas

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transferable energy

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sometimes you get stubborn and you don’t want anyone to hold your hand. but remember:

the heaviness you feel in your chest is transferable energy; move it. pack your melancholy inside words and let them take the responsibility. feel everything and nothing. Be vulnerable. find that perspective is fluid. put down your magnifying glass – step back to see it all play out. your mind is a beautiful place even if your vision gets too shaky to see it. hold your hand out, feel it.


BUTTON UP DRESS by Cheap Monday
GRAY TANK by Sweet Claire Clothing

PLATFORM SHOE by Y.R.U (via Dolls Kill)
TORMENT BOOT by Demonia (via Dolls Kill)


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she’s morphine


she’s a lone sinister
dancing in the blur

the way a slight breeze creeps through hollows
shifting through alleys to the rhythm of its sorrows

“she’s morphine, queen of my vaccine.”


T-SHIRT DRESS by Truly Madly Deeply
GARTERS & THIGH HIGHS by American Apparel

photos by Rachel Lynch (I HATE BLONDE)

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walls melt


early morning is when i give into you the most
i backtrack the distance i walked away
and i forget the rules

stripes of soft light sneak through shutters into your room
eyes met
walls melt
and i can’t decide what is more real:

my confliction or you.


BEETLE JUICE PANTS by Black Milk Clothing

BUSTIER by Urban Outfitters

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depth of chaos

i had a dream that i forgave you
and it went something like this:

in the depth of the chaos we both worked so hard to create
in the midst of a reality we both worked so hard to push away
did you think
for one second
that perhaps love
is a thing we can share
not just to pull in for control
and push away for comfort
but just to keep close
and not just in a dream
but in reality

and in my reality
it goes something like this:

i forgive you


THIGH HIGHS by American Apparel

TOOTH NECKLACE by Grand Bizzare

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