our flames.

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the bedford chicagomoira noree vintagethe bedford chicagothe bedford chicagoworn out blog - shookawith my head melted on your chest, i like listening to your heart beat because it reminds me that you too are waiting for an interruption. we rebel against consistency because we know it’s just the devil’s trick to keep our flames low. but we prefer the heat. ideas rubbing against one another. a spark.

x

JUMPSUIT by Mustard Seed
BLAZER thrifted
LION NECKLACE by Moira Noree Vintage
LEOPARD COAT by Motel Rocks

Photos by Rachel Lynch

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tough crowd.

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you have to learn to love being alone. your unwanted, sneaky thoughts leak out the cracks when no one’s around, and they’re a tough crowd. but standing against the flow of black is a stance worth crumbling for. give your emotions a chance. the distractions you create for yourself by being surrounded have an unfair advantage over your raw inner self. so for the sake of your crumbling core, learn how to love being alone, i repeat to myself.

x

JEWELRY by Sequin NYC
 CLOTHING by Moira Noree Vintage

Assistant styling by Moira Noree
Make up/hair by Ali Kraus
Photos by Calvin Bellas

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candle heart.

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i blink vulnerability. it’s what makes me human. and it’s more endearing than you might think. a dash of doubt, a splash of lost, and a tingle in my heart that doesn’t quite know which emotion to gravitate towards.

i wish you would see it- that the runny wax from your candle heart is much prettier liquified. once reached the surface of its cold surrounded walls, the runny wax of your heart hardens. you follow your logic- that no one will break you if they’ve never seen you broken.

but one day you’ll get it- that those who make us vulnerable give us the rare chance of being human. for better or for worse. risking stabilized emotions. letting loose all that makes us vulnerable at a chance of gaining a little thing called being human. and it’s much prettier than you might think.

because this is human stuff, you know, it’s what sets me apart from the cold, consistent ground i’m standing on.

x

HAMSA TOP by Motel Rocks
SNAKE PATTERN JEANS by Motel Rocks
PLATFORM SHOE by Jeffrey Campbell x Nastygal
FUR COAT by Nastygal

Photos by Rachel Lynch

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puppet eyes.

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i’ll crawl into your head at night. through your ears. with devil-controlled eyes. reaching your untouchable filth. the thrill of getting caught. mesmerized by your leaking thoughts.

i’ll scrape the walls of your brain. sneak behind your vision. control your puppet eyes. a grand demonstration of what no one else saw. remind you of why you wanted me out of your mind.

what a celebration of our devil-controlled eyes.

x

DROP CROTCH PANTS by This is a Love Song
SHOES by Unif
CROP TOP by Topshop
INFINITY SCARF by H&M

Photos by Rachel Lynch

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starry eyed

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blind to the bone, i saw nothing but the pretty pattern of the pores on your back. white sheets, heat waves, bodies melt aside. you were hot to the touch but i wasn’t afraid. you said you know my kind. you know exactly how we are. you said people such as i jump clouds and are starry eyed, and that we’re your favorite kind.

x

TOP by Motel Rocks
MAXI SKIRT by Motel Rocks
JACKET by Jac Vanek
SHOES by Jeffrey Campbell
HAT & CIRCLE SCARF by H&M

Photos by Rachel Lynch

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imagine the thrill

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breaking through circular cycles, a vast movement has occurred on behalf of our change-resistant hearts. an unexplained, randomly desired phenomena- we’re just chasing the rush today.

step up and tell me you’re in. steal the earth’s warmth and spread its energy. break into motels. chase adventure without an explanation. imagine the thrill.

x

TOP by Motel Rocks
MAXI SKIRT by Motel Rocks
SHOES by Jeffrey Campbell x NastyGal 

Photos by Rachel Lynch

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safe haven.

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i’ve been longing for your arrival. it’s a little past 3am and you said you’ll be here by tomorrow. i know i’m a little anxious but the scratches on my neck are getting a little too itchy and i need a distraction.

so to kill time i make my way down the spiral staircase and out the back door. i stroll down the alley and stand under my favorite streetlight. i like standing under streetlights because the buzzing of the flies is a calming rhythm to me. it reminds me that they too want to be warm and surrounded.

from this haven i wonder what you’re doing. maybe putting on your favorite lipstick that matches the dark plum sweater you wore that night we both decided no one else matters. or maybe you’re standing directly in front of the headlights of an old lady’s BMW moments before she forgets to hit the brakes. like that night you were rushing to get to the train station. but instead you were left under a streetlight. just past 3am. surrounded by flies buzzing to the rhythm of this calm, breathless moment.

i’m not sure when you’re arriving, and i’m not sure why i repeat this routine every night. maybe i’m learning from this. maybe it’s true what they say:

 “that reality is never what i imagine it to be from the safe haven of introspection.”

x 

SHOES by Jeffrey Campbell
JACKET by UNIF
 SKIRT by Forever21

Photos by Rachel Lynch

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