safe haven.

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i’ve been longing for your arrival. it’s a little past 3am and you said you’ll be here by tomorrow. i know i’m a little anxious but the scratches on my neck are getting a little too itchy and i need a distraction.

so to kill time i make my way down the spiral staircase and out the back door. i stroll down the alley and stand under my favorite streetlight. i like standing under streetlights because the buzzing of the flies is a calming rhythm to me. it reminds me that they too want to be warm and surrounded.

from this haven i wonder what you’re doing. maybe putting on your favorite lipstick that matches the dark plum sweater you wore that night we both decided no one else matters. or maybe you’re standing directly in front of the headlights of an old lady’s BMW moments before she forgets to hit the brakes. like that night you were rushing to get to the train station. but instead you were left under a streetlight. just past 3am. surrounded by flies buzzing to the rhythm of this calm, breathless moment.

i’m not sure when you’re arriving, and i’m not sure why i repeat this routine every night. maybe i’m learning from this. maybe it’s true what they say:

 “that reality is never what i imagine it to be from the safe haven of introspection.”

x 

SHOES by Jeffrey Campbell
JACKET by UNIF
 SKIRT by Forever21

Photos by Rachel Lynch

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against gravity

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your eyelids push against gravity and slowly begin to open, letting in the vision you wish you could change about the world. you rise from bed and make your way towards the closed back porch, following the speckle of light dancing on the ladder to the roof. you climb up the ladder, secure one foot on the roof then the other. fully arose, a breeze of fresh air overcomes the stale dungeon of your lungs. you turn around to face the city in front of you. the rushing winds howl at you, as if you owe them something. you take in a single breath, filling your lungs with another chance at making things happen. you exhale, letting out everything that never worked out and never will. against gravity, you let go.

x

JACKET by Jac Vanek
SHOES by Jeffrey Campbell

photos by I HATE BLONDE

 

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