you left for a long time today. lifted yourself out of your miserable constant, i suppose. i called to say goodbye. not because i care about you. but because i want you to care about me. a ‘courtesy call’, right? like when those telemarketers call in the middle of your dragging work day to pretend like they give a shit about your needs.
our phone conversation drifts in and out like waves. much like the presence of your emotional state. barely reaching shore. coming and going at your leisure. but i’m forgiving, i suppose. i’ll lift the heaviness in your chest because as i’ve told you many times before, the heaviness in your chest is transferable energy. because behind all your “yes” “great” “i’ll call” “i’ll email” talk i can feel the buzzing of an underlying statement: “someone come and lift me out of here”. but no one can hear your buzzing over the filler words. they can just feel it. they can identify with it. they can, regardless of your strong efforts in blocking off your leaking emotions, forgive. but i’m only forgiving because i’ve needed to be forgiven.
Photos by Sam Doyle
Listening to: Sierra Lift
by Blue Hawaii