Catch + Release

Catch + Release

I have been intimately sifting through 
my internal landscape,
tracing the mappings of my 
inner workings. I am, 
however intentionally, 
a voyeur of my own
mental movement. I am 
looking for an answer before 
fully formulating the question. In this 
game of catch and release, I am 
well aware that rampaging through 
an otherwise unbothered corner 
of my psyche is 
inherently masochistic; 
why fix something if it’s not broken, 
chase what doesn’t need to be seen? 
I over-engineer what my soul needs.

The moon hovers at the edge 
of the horizon, and 
some kind of a revolution is 
happening inside of me. I reach
for the new spark, 
first, cautiously, 
then with conviction. Like a 
bunched up note un-wrinkling open 
in a puddle of water, I am 
coming to the surface. The 
more I learn about myself the 
more I get overwhelmed by the
vastness that is me. The narrator 
inside me is practicing to juggle 
all of me: I am both 
the warrior and the peacemaker 
of my inner battles.

On my living room sofa, I watch the sunset
out of one window, then the moon light
out of the other. I remind
myself to simply feel
instead of imprison myself within
the need to understand.

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