a child will always be as apprehensive as its mother

I was born in a city of mayhem, and mayhem seems to follow me. Their god picked me up off the ground the moment I started to question intentions, threw me into a stone spice grater.

I’m always on the go with little understanding of my journey. My 3 year intervals are vines, growing down brick walls knowing they’ll eventually reach the ground, only to be stepped over, then repeat again. Is it possible for people like us to reach that higher place, that space you only ever read about? My tongue is too sharp for men in black suits, but never sharp enough to cut through the spinning pedestal they put me on. Will their god ever forgive me?

I came to this city for a peace of mind, something to give my fleeting senses a reason to fight. I came to carve my wishes into a plaque, hang them above my dresser, keep them in check. I can build a whole world around anyone, so long as they sit down next to me on this blue couch.

I try to let go of my own expectations. But was their god listening that time I lost all my senses? The best part about a temporary existence is that everything bad ends – but nothing good has a chance either. There’s something comforting in that – can a man break you if you’ve already broken yourself? If you’ve already given yourself away? Mayhem was only ever just a subset. The intervals, they’re unforgiving.

xx

a child will always be as apprehensive as its mother

I was born in a city of mayhem, and mayhem seems to follow me. Their god picked me up off the ground the moment I started to question intentions, threw me into a stone spice grater.

I’m always on the go with little understanding of my journey. My 3 year intervals are vines, growing down brick walls knowing they’ll eventually reach the ground, only to be stepped over, then repeat again. Is it possible for people like us to reach that higher place, that space you only ever read about? My tongue is too sharp for men in black suits, but never sharp enough to cut through the spinning pedestal they put me on. Will their god ever forgive me?

I came to this city for a peace of mind, something to give my fleeting senses a reason to fight. I came to carve my wishes into a plaque, hang them above my dresser, keep them in check. I can build a whole world around anyone, so long as they sit down next to me on this blue couch.

I try to let go of my own expectations. But was their god listening that time I lost all my senses? The best part about a temporary existence is that everything bad ends – but nothing good has a chance either. There’s something comforting in that – can a man break you if you’ve already broken yourself? If you’ve already given yourself away? Mayhem was only ever just a subset. The intervals, they’re unforgiving.

xx

 

DRESS by Zaful

Photos by Ally Seracki

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